10.27.08
On Fustication
It’s no secret that the two most distinguished members of our academy hate imps.
“contrary to popular folklore, the imp is a terrible creature. It’s not the little winged mischief maker in fairy tales. They are pure evil, and drawn to it. They feed off of the malice of all beings, and are attracted to the wickedness of man like moths to a flame.” Remarked MR. Pew.
“Vile creatures.” Mr. Able added. “Imagine a giant bat with the body of an old fat man and the head of a pit-bull, but hairless, and intelligent. I hate the damned creatures.”
To this end, Mssrs. Able and Pew have been working diligently in their workshop to bring to the academy what Mr. Pew calls ‘The imp excruciator.’ Mr. Able however, much to the continued chagrin of his colleage, refers to the weapon simply as ‘the fusticator.’
“I don’t see why we have to be all florid about it, Pew.” He was heard to say. “it’s a fustication device. That’s what it DOES. It fusticates.”
The Academy will of course notify it’s members when this weapon is revealed, rumored to be completed in a matter of weeks, ‘or days,’ said Pew, ‘if the stars are right.’
